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I have been living in the US for 17 years now, but my English is not improving. Do you have any advice on how to write sophisticated sentences? Here is an example of how I write:
I watch the leaves drifting. They were scattered on the sidewalk, and thrown away under my feet.
My goal is to write like this:
I watch the leaves drifting, scattered on the sidewalk, thrown away under my feet.
It seems like an easy thing to fix, but it's not. I have to be conscious about finding sentences that can be combined. I have to rewrite, edit, and edit over again. Even then my sentences seem very awkward, choppy, and not flow nicely.
Any tips or advice for better writing?
If I recall, Kurt Vonnegut claimed never to edit or rewrite words he had written. I'm not sure I believe that claim.
I rewrite and edit brutally, and I expect I always will. The practices of writing initial ideas, considering as many options as possible, making changes to try them out, discovering the best expression, all seem healthy to me. It will almost certainly come more easily the more you do it.
If your example is a real one, your insticts are good. My advice is to continue exactly as you are.
Perditechno, the best way to become a better writer is to *read* the work of better writers and to read a lot of it. It's the best shortcut. Get into some great writing and when you come across something particularly brilliant, write it down some where, mull it over, and try to tease out for yourself why it's so great. You will begin to automatically get the same level of writerly intuition that the best writers have.
For what it's worth, your post here is written better than most native English-speakers would write--and you're already ahead of many of the rest because you're motivated to get better. Keep at it!
Perditechno, the best way to become a better writer is to *read* the work of better writers and to read a lot of it. It's the best shortcut. Get into some great writing and when you come across something particularly brilliant, write it down some where, mull it over, and try to tease out for yourself why it's so great. You will begin to automatically get the same level of writerly intuition that the best writers have.
For what it's worth, your post here is written better than most native English-speakers would write--and you're already ahead of many of the rest because you're motivated to get better. Keep at it!
Martha Barnette
Grant Barrett
Grant Barrett
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