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For quite some time, when someone on a scripted television show asks of another, "would you mind if…" The answer is inevitably in the affirmative, with the response "yea, sure." I've heard this countless times. If someone asks me if I would mind if….. my answer in the affirmative would be, "no, not at all." Does anyone else notice this? I'm thrilled to have found this forum. My fascination with words has been my nerdy little secret forever. While I'm at it, has "whom" become obsolete in scripted television? Thanks for any comments.
Not only have I noticed this but, shortly after reading your post, I caught myself saying it.
I think that, in most cases, where there is some time to think, I would say "Not at all." In this case, I would explain my words by saying that, in the rush of the situation, I was responding to the implicit, or anticipated, more direct question, rather than to the actual, more indirect question.
Glenn said:
…I was responding to the implicit, or anticipated, more direct question, rather than to the actual, more indirect question.
And that's it in a nutshell – people often respond to the implicit question. I think that I immediately translate "would you mind if…" to "May I?", and answer accordingly.
(In a similar vein, people would think you rude , a wiseass, or at best pedantic, if you answered "Do you know the time?" with a simple "Yes.")
God forbid I should ever find myself on the witness stand. In that context, if confronted with such a question, I most certainly would restrict my response to the precise question.
- Can you describe the events leading up to the accident?
- Yes.
But that would be due to the serious nature of the circumstance. In my transgression above, something obvious and unexpected happened that required another person's quick attention. They asked "I have to go. Do you mind?" My reply was, of course, "of course," rather than "nay" (or "neigh" to carry through the Mr. Ed reference).
There you go!! It really isn't a matter of correct or incorrect to me. I wondered what the colloquial response would be to others as "no, I don't mind at all" has always been the familiar to me. I can also hear myself responding with "go ahead." Something just popped into my head which will be an introduction to my non linear thinking. Justice Potter Stewart wrote in Jacobellis v.Ohio (1964), "I can't define pornography, but I know it when I see it."
Derivative of that statement for our purposes, despite not needing to be distracted, my ear picks up a lot that doesn't seem right, but for which I have no explanation
Here's another one that I hear constantly which may very well be accepted as proper speech based on the sheer volume of it's use. The term "for free" doesn't sound right. Not to mention that there isn't a whole lot out there that is actually free in the long run...
Then we have the less vs. fewer debate. Seems like the fluidity of the statement dictates the better choice though I don't think there's a wrong choice.
I will be back with many more! I stake no claim as an expert in the field, but have endless curiousity. It's just plain fun to pick the brains of like minded opinionb seekers in a friendly, not scholarly vernacular.
I've always been too literal-minded to suit some people; I, too, respond to "do you mind…?" by saying "no" (unless, of course, I do mind). One of my daughters is like me in that, and we often have stories to trade about accidentally confusing someone that way.
However, nowadays I've gotten around the problem without comprise: When someone asks a question like that, I usually reply "I do not". That answers the question correctly without leading anyone astray.
"Is this seat saved?" It is not. (Unless of course you're in church, in which case you're free to reply "Not yet, but I'm praying for it".)
I've heard that at least one Chinese language has no word meaning simply Yes or No. When asked "Do we have time to stop for gas?", the reply cannot be "No" but can be "No time", "We have not" etc. I always thought that was suffocatingly restrictive, but now for the first time it occurs to me that I'm doing exactly the same thing.
Wordsarecool, "for free" is an old complaint; most of us figure it's a lost cause. But I agree that "free" is a perfectly serviceable adverb so the preposition is redundant. The theory I heard is that stores had posters advertising that some items has been marked down; it used to sell for $1/can and now it sells for...with a space to write in the new price, 80 cents or whatever. Sometimes one would write in "free", and thus the phrase "for free" was born. Dunno whether it's true, but it sounds possible.
Martha Barnette
Grant Barrett
Grant Barrett
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