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Ok, I have been a longtime intermittent listener, and have one serious pet peeve. The use of the word disrespect as a verb grates on me like nails on a chalkboard. I don't know why, but it does. Respect as a verb is fine, but I always thought that you treat someone with disrespect. Anyone else out there have a perspective? I always wanted to ask this question, but didn't want to call in.
Thanks for raising the question, Russianrat. (Boy, do I wonder about the stories behind the forum names people choose!) 🙂
Anyway, "disrespect" is an interesting one. The earliest citation of the word in the Oxford English Dictionary goes all the way back to the year 1614, so it has quite a long history indeed. Of course, it's not a word I ever heard with any frequency growing up, but it's gained a lot more currency in recent years, especially among urban youth, so it feels like a newly minted word to lots of people.
I found it a little jarring when I first started hearing it, but I've come to like it. Anyone else? Is it that different from, say, "dishonor"?
What is really strange is that I have no issue with "respecting someone", its just disrepecting someone that causes me problems.
The forum name is a combination of a couple of things. First, I worked as an interpreter for several years (you guessed it, Russian). Second, I am a fan of the fiction of Haruki Murakami, who in the book "A Wild Sheep Chase" had a character named "The Rat", on top of that rat (in russian Krysa) was a nickname I picked up once upon a time. So there you have it.
Ah, well your forum name is a Lot more interesting than mine, RR!
As for "disrespect," on reflection, I'm not sure "dishonor" is a good analogy, since one tends to honor someone else, but dishonor an office or other status. But I'm sure there must be others that aren't springing to mind immediately.
DISSING: One guy at the gym insisted on piling his clothes, books and bag on a stationary bike. When I confronted him about it, he claimed I was "dissing" him because of his race. I told him that wasn't the issue: He had shown DISobedience to the rules, DIScourtesy to others using the guym, and DISrespect to the authority of those who ran the gym. "So," I asked him, "who's 'dissing' whom?"
I'm with you, Martha; I want John to drop the other gym shoe, so to speak.
In fact, curious fellow that I am, I'd like to know more about the circumstances of the affair. I go to the gym and I've seen my share of confrontations. Working out seems to bring out the testosterone in even the meekest of us (and I mean the girls, as well!). I have to know more about this situation in order to put it into a context I am familiar with.
First, let's give the guy hanging his clothes on the bike a name: Joe. John is the guy who confronted Joe. Why did Joe put his stuff on the bike? Whatever Joe's reason, why did John feel the need to confront him? Like Martha, I'd love to know how the rest of the "conversation" went.
I can easily imagine that Joe thought John an odd duck for his geeky but muscle-tongued retort. Even the remark "Who's dissing whom?" is not the proper vernacular between two sweaty guys facing off in a gym. If someone talked to me that way in a gym, I might think he was dissing me, too!
I also find the common current use of "disrespect" jarring. Not because it's used as a verb, but because it's used to describe a behavior. I've always regarded "respect" and "disrespect" as descriptor of an attitude or feeling. If I say, "I disrespected my boss," I mean that I felt she was a person not worthy of respect, not that I made fun of her ideas in a meeting. Likewise, I wouldn't say, "I respected my boss," in describing how I waited until we were alone to tell her what I thought of her idea.
When I use "respect" or "disrespect" as a verb, I use it the way I would verbs like, "love," "hate," "miss," or "dislike."
Gym story details and ending: I had no idea this story was so fascinating in a personal sense to anyone.
The situation took place at a local university building, in the caged/fenced workout area in the basement; hence its nickname, "The Dungeon." I was a staff member at the university; the other guy was a student.
Rules were posted at the entry and at the desk (where everyone passes by) stating NO personal belongings were allowed in the workout area. There were only two stationary bikes, and one was broken - but the guy put his stuff on the bike that did work. I moved it so I could use the bike, but every time I took a break for water, he moved his stuff back. I would move his stuff again...
HE confronted ME about it. So I told him about the posted rules and that they applied to everyone - students, athletes, staff and faculty. That's when he accused me of "dissing" him. I don't usually stand up for myself very well (especially at a gym or workout area), but right then I had enough adrenaline (and/or testosterone) pumping that I answered him. (And I probably did say, "So who's dissing who?") He didn't answer my question. (He did go and move his stuff somewhere else.)
The point of my post was that "dissing" may connote more than disrespect alone.
I had no idea this story was so fascinating in a personal sense to anyone.
What do you expect from a bunch of grammar geeks?
Your story still doesn't explain why "Joe" wanted to put his stuff on the bike. To get it off the floor? And why did he prefer to put it on the working bike rather than the non-working bike? Was Joe looking for trouble? Also, where was Joe when you repeatedly moved his stuff off the bike? I assume that if he were right there, you would simply ask him to move his stuff rather than take the provocative action of moving it in front of him.
We're going to make you sorry that you ever posted your story!
I've been teaching high school kids for at least 30 years, and it is interesting to see their use of language change. Often, I am sure, their word use just reflects movies, TV, etc., but there are also local words that don't get into wide pop culture use. The term "diss" has been used commonly by kids for about 10 years and is short for the verb "disrespect." Mostly, though, kids use it (as do I) because it's kind of a fun word. "He dissed me" conveys the meaning without having to worry about the correct way to say what you want and it is quicker to say, particularly when you spew it out in anger. By the time you say "He showed me a great deal of disrespect", the edge has gone off the comment and your friends will start laughing instead of being symapthetically outraged.
Martha Barnette
Grant Barrett
Grant Barrett
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