Discussion Forum—A Way with Words, a fun radio show and podcast about language

EmmettRedd said:

"The glass is half full," Jill said, optimistically. "No, it's half empty," Jack pessimisticly said.

Not that it has anything to do with the subject at hand, but here's the .sig file I've been using on Usenet lately:

A pessimist sees the glass as half empty.
An optometrist asks whether you see the glass
more full like this?...or like this?

... and the downsizing engineer says, "Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need."

"A word that contains all five vowels? And I suppose you want those vowels to appear in alphabetical order?" asked Tom facetiously.

As for the CASA question:
How about the American Historical Society or the Americal Psychological Association?

"We'll get across the Sahara when Hell freezes over," Tom said dryly.
"We'd better reach the summit of McKinley before that big storm moves in," Tom said expeditiously.

Tom Swifties – I can't stop thinking about 'em. I think I'm addicted. The adverb-free version seemed to be more of a challenge, so that's what I've working on:

"Three days in the belly of a fish!" Jonah wailed.
"Don't let the string go slack," Tom taught.
"Better than a diamond – he gave me an oil well!" she gushed.
"He thinks his car is so fast, it can break the sound barrier," Tom mocked.
"Strike three!" the umpire called out.
"The price of gold is up; the price of silver is down," Tom announced.
"Wow! Look at that jet!" the pilot leered.
"I got the first round draft pick," proclaimed the manager.
"All right, I'll go to Ash Wednesday services again this year," Tom relented.
"Her perfume makes me sneeze," Tom accused.
"If you do a web search but spell it wrong, the results are pretty funny," she giggled.
"I know the rule: 'A second reference requires a second footnote,' " Tom recited.
"All you've done is doodle while I was baking cookies," she snickered.
"Damn dogs!" Max cursed.
"I'm the one arranged the party for the inmates," Tom confessed.
"You can't mark outside the boxes on your answer sheet," the proctor informed them.
"I don't need a drug screening," the player protested.
"I just got a second glass of that sweet red wine," Rosie reported.
"I gave her so much in the divorce, I can list her as a deduction on my tax return!" exclaimed Tom.
"Something must have happened right before the car accelerated," Tom presumed.
"Just remember this one rule: You can wear white only between Memorial Day and Labor Day," Blanche summarized.

I need help with French: so close, yet so far . . .
"I can't spell the French word – just write 'appetizer,' " Tom ordered.
"This isn't just your average creme-filled donut stick," Pierre eclaired (uh, I wanted to use "declared").

Can't choose – or maybe need a new idea . . .

1a "Back then, this whole area was flat," Tom explained.
1b "I used to fly a lot… but not any more," Tom explained.

2a "Cows don't say much either," Tom mumbled.
2b "There's no such thing as a 'daddy' cow," Tom mumbled.

What about if it's within the quotation itself? I wrote it down anyhow.
"She convinced me to trade my smooth leather handbag for one with a nappier surface, and now I'm persuaded."

Last real one:
"There's the exit," Tom pointed out.
(That's my cue . . .)

Thank you, Glenn. I consider you one of the masters so I value your comment.

One revision - I think I found a better word than "accused":
"Her perfume makes me sneeze," Tom eschewed.

Tom Swifties - Now I really am addicted - I can't stop thinking about 'em! (as evidenced below)

Emmett - You just raised the "clever" level on that one!

Here are my latest attempts:
• "I banged my elbow and now my arm feels funny," she said humorously.
• "In the White Glove inspection, they'll give you a demerit for the tiniest thing," Tom warned perspectively.
• "This poet could describe the cosmos in a single stanza," said Tom universally.
• "The mother of Jesus is laughing," said John merrily.
• "We got no weights to tie on these useless ropes to keep this lousy boat from drifting," the sailor muttered cantankerously.
• "Give me a few of those, please," requested Tom handsomely.
• "It's a poem my cigarette lighter can identify with," he explained iambically.
• "Here we are, a-planting corn in a labyrinth again," said the farmer amazingly.
• "I'm opposed to using that sans serif font," she declared adversarially.
• "Don't make any noise on the bridge over the river," Tom advised quietly.
• "He's just like any other member of the lower house of Parliament," she said commonly.
• "This case is not about opinions or feelings," the attorney stated matter-of-factly.
• "Due to the nature of the cover-up we checked the background of everyone who put money into that company," the agent stated investigatively.
• "It rained every minute of the campout, so we couldn't go out," he said intensely.
• "I can do anything right-handed," she boasted adroitly.
• "That little shelter sure is a sorry sight," he drawled potently.
• "It is important for our experiment that both male and female models be correct to the smallest detail," asserted the nuclear radiation therapist anatomically.
• "A young lady, sitting erect on a stool, quite prim and proper, was playing the piano," he described uprightly.
• "In this country, the idea of everyone driving an automobile has become a reality," he said incarnationally.
• "The usual method is to can the cucumbers in brine," she explained typically.
• "Paul for President," the web site proclaimed electronically.
• "This microphone crackles and pops," Tony snapped.
...* (I still have a Rice Krispies box with a mail-in offer for a plastic microphone with the three characters.)

Adverb-free:
• "We find the defendant guilty," announced the jury foreman with conviction.
• "I can name all fifty capitals," Sam stated. ("Wisconsin? Oh, that's easy - W.")
• "Reporters want the meeting to be open to the public," the media disclosed.
• "He pushed her off the tenth floor," the lawyer alleged.
• "She said something about not wanting anything to do with males," he mentioned.
• "Warning your child three times will not be enough," the doctor foretold.
• "Using the good china? Don't tell me - Sydney Poitier is coming to dinner," Tracy guessed.
• "I can confirm he was right here, taking an exam," the teacher attested.
• "My guess is it's something related to evergreen trees," he opined.
• "All citizens must hold fast to this statement of faith," the emperor decreed.
• "Please, please stop crying. I'll give you some candy," the babysitter entreated.
• "Did you ride your horse today? Did you brush his coat? Did you feed him? " she nagged.
• His kids kept hounding him: "Can we get a dog? Can we? Pleeeeez?"
• "That will be $2 for the driver, plus 50 cents for each passenger," Tom told them.

And here's a tribute to the hosts:
• "During our podcast, I might go to a dictionary, then to a thesaurus, or Grant may go to a lexicon," Martha said, waywardly.