False Friends
A relative of mine went to Germany and ordered a dry martini at a German restaurant. He got angry when they brought him three.
John Middleton
Beware of linguistic false friends, also known as false cognates. You wouldn't want to say you're feeling embarazada in Spanish, unless you want to say you're pregnant. And don't order the tuna in Spain unless you want to hear a musical group made up of college kids. A kind of false friend exists within English as well: noisome doesn't mean "noisy," it means "icky," and bombastic doesn't mean "booming," it means "fluffy" or "ostentatious," deriving from bombast, a kind of cotton padding. This is part of a complete episode.
I came away from high-school French with a great story about faux amis. Unfortunately it's almost impossible to recount it well in writing; it has to be spoken aloud to make sense. If you know some French pronunciation, read this aloud to yourself; if not, it's probably going to be lost on you. Nevertheless:
So we're chatting in French class about "false friends", and the teacher says Yes, there are words that look like English words but mislead because they actually mean something different. Blessé, for example, means not "blessed" but "wounded". But, she continued, there are also words that actually mean what they look like; "taxi", for one obvious example. And, she added, "humide". [Pronounce "humide" to yourself in French: euu-MEED.]
We looked at her blankly.
"Humide", she repeated. And when no light appeared to dawn over our furrowed brows, she stamped her foot a little impatiently: "Humide, humide!" Then she turned around and wrote in on the blackboard: H-U-M-I-D-E. Then, of course, we understood—humide means "wet"—but it certainly didn't sound like anything we recognized.
See, I told you you'd have to work at it.
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